We've moved

As you all may have noticed, there has not been a weekly letter for the past couple of weeks.  My life has been a whirlwind of activity, which has left me too tired to think--and writing takes thought.  Don't worry--you haven't missed much.☺ By not writing, I have missed pointing out a couple of birthdays.  Happy Birthday Jieun, Maverick and Andy!  We are happy you are all in our family!!!

We have finally moved (and we picked the snowiest day possible to do it).

This picture was taken the 2nd day of moving--it snowed,
but not all day like it did the first day of moving.

You all know how I've worried about the house in Bountiful.  We had very little activity for the 7 months we had it on the market.  We took it off the market over Christmas and were going to wait a few weeks to put it back on the market, but someone saw it on Zillow (a web site that is apparently slow to update) and wanted to see it.  We hurried and cleaned up from Christmas and put it immediately back on the market--never dreaming that we'd have much action in January.  `We had three families view the home, and all seemed quite interested.  We got an offer that we were disappointed in.  We countered, and they countered again--only $10,000 above their original offer.  Roy and I discussed it and decided "one in the hand is worth two in the bush" and we told our realtor to go ahead.  Their realtor told ours that she would send the paperwork that evening.  It never appeared.  She texted about 9:00 and told her she'd been out for the evening but would send the paperwork over when she arrived home--she didn't do it.  The next morning, around 10:30 or 11:00 we received a 2nd offer that was $30,000 better than the first offer.  It had slightly more risk (the wife hasn't yet seen the home and there are a couple of contingencies,--but for $30,000 we decided to go with it.  The first realtor was very angry.  She told our realtor that we had a verbal agreement... I think she even made our realtor cry.  However, it was her fault, because if she'd been timely with the paperwork, we would have signed and been tied in to it.  I think she was angry because she had to go back to her people and tell them she had messed up.  Although my bet is that she colored it differently.  I didn't feel that we owed the first couple anything because they had definitely played a game with us.  They gave us a very low offer--a little insulting actually, and then they didn't call us or communicate with us for over a week.  Our realtor eventually called them back and that's when they agreed to go up $10,000, but they wouldn't budge from that.
We have felt greatly blessed to get a contract on our home--the very same day we were scheduled to move out of it.
Life has not been perfectly rosy, however.  You expect to have problems in a home that's 35 years old, but you're hopeful in a brand new one that you won't have any.  HOWEVER... Wednesday morning, Caitlyn woke us up at 6:15 (the first morning in a long while that I was actually still asleep at that time and not awake with nervous energy).  She told us that the basement was flooding.  We hurried downstairs to find that the water softener had failed--one of the connections had blown and water was spurting out profusely. Our utility/furnace room is right next to our theater room.  Our beautiful brand new carpet was soaked--into the media closet and about 10 feet into the room itself.  I put an immediate call into our carpet guy.  He came out a few hours later, sucked up the water into a wet/dry vac, threw away the ruined section of padding, and put fans on the carpet.  I was so glad I was able to get a hold of him, because the builder sent someone to pull up carpet, but he wouldn't have known how to cut it correctly (it had to be cut because I didn't know how to disconnect the media rack--and the carpet thankfully was dry underneath it).
We still have a few unfinished items in our home--we don't have a tub in our master bath, for example.  But so far we are enjoying living in it--though it sort of feels like a luxurious hotel.
I knew our home in Bountiful was large, but I thought I'd sorted through a lot of things and pared down reasonably well.  When we started unpacking, though, I realized I still had a lot to sort through and give away.  We had a lot more storage room in the Bountiful house (we had John cupboards in every bathroom, etc.)

Even though our routine has basically stopped while we have been moving, life has gone on, as it always does.
Benedict Dojin has been growing:

Benedict on the quilt grandma made for him

And he has met most of his cousins:

Benedict and Effie (5 months makes a big difference
at this age)

Finn with Benedict

Ori with Benedict

Max had a little too much fun in the hot tub.

Max and Maverick

Ori has been learning to ski.  Saturday she went with her mom while her dad took care of Effie.  She was especially excited because her favorite characters showed up at the lodge while she was there.

Ollie and grandma had fun together this past week as well.  We went to the homecoming for Emily Green (AJ's sister).  Ollie sat on my lap through all of Sacrament meeting.  It made my day.  I've had so much nervous energy and have been working so hard that I've forgotten how to relax.  Holding Ollie calmed me right down.  Granted, he wasn't feeling very well or he never would have been so still, but I'll take what I can get.

 Monday, Adrienne came over and helped me organize my pantry.  I'm pretty sure I couldn't have done it alone.  The boys played and had a good time.  Then they decided to be sick the rest of the week (all except Gunnar who stayed healthy).

Ollie can not look at a camera without making a face.

A week ago yesterday was the day of our move.  Roy managed to escape and go to a Pinewood Derby with the Elder's Quorum in his Singles ward.  And Wednesday I was able to go to Book Club, but for the most part we've been packing and unpacking non-stop.

 

Happy Birthday to Matt and Caitlyn.

Ori's birthday was Tuesday.  Here she is enjoying the tent
Grandma Catharine and Grandpa Roy made for her.

 And, we have more January birthdays--Happy Birthday to Matt and Caitlyn this week!

Tuesday, we also enjoyed a couple of wedding receptions.  AJ's little brother Alec was the groom of one of them.  Adrienne looked beautiful, as always (above picture with her friend, Kandis (maiden name-Harding)  She was a little dubious about the dress that the bride chose for her, though, when her four-year old, Ollie said, "Mom, You look like Jesus," then, after a slight pause, "No, Moses!

We're getting a lot closer to moving into our new home.  Carpet is being laid, but our carpet layer works alone and he'll need another week and a couple of days.  After that, we can probably move in.  I think the timing is working out all right, though, because who wants to move this week with all the snow and the low temperatures.  I really didn't want to move right before Christmas, either.  At least we still have a nice warm home to live in.

Saturday, Roy and I drove down to a funeral of my first cousin,  Russell.  He was the oldest son of my Uncle Bill, 3rd son of W.W. .  I didn't know Russell very well--actually, not at all, but we went to support the family.  There are a couple of Russell's siblings that are close to my age.  The funeral was a lot smaller than I expected.  Russell had 10 children and had stayed married all his adult life, to his wife, Ann.  I have to say, it was probably the saddest funeral I ever attended.  It became clear with the first speaker that his relationship with his family had been difficult and complicated.  What was interesting was that, though the children were remembering their father as a very angry man, the spirit in the chapel was very strong.  Russell's wife must have been a phenomenal woman, to keep her family together in a home where there was obvious and difficult mental illness.  I don't know the children (using the term loosely, as the children were all grown) of the family, but it was clear that most of them were active in the church.  It also appeared that were were two or three of the children that had problems of their own--either mental illness, or fall-out from a hard childhood.  The fourth child of the family, Angela, gave the eulogy.  She spoke of the words honor and honesty, and how honesty came from the word honor.  She said that she would honor her father, but that she had to be honest about how difficult their relationship was.  Her talk was excellent.  She mentioned that in the final years of his life, Russell, because of his pain and illness (He had diabetes and had lost a leg, I assume from the disease) softened, and lost his anger.  He told one of his children that his biggest regret was that he never learned to control his anger.  She also spoke of the healing power of the atonement.

 I had some other cousins sitting in front of me that I know better, (Blaine's children).  We spoke afterward and they admitted they hadn't known anything of all of this, either.  Dave Cook said that he had been somewhat aware of the difficulties in the family.

When you go to a funeral, you expect to hear all wonderful things about the deceased.  When you are sitting there, and things are said that don't follow that pattern, it's a little bit uncomfortable.  I am glad I went.  It helped to remind me that our relationships with each other can be the key to a happy and joyful life if we make the effort to nurture them. It was also a reminder that a lot of people have very difficult trials, and we need to be careful in our judgments of them. Of course, it also filled me with gratitude for my wonderful, loving parents, and the family relationships that I enjoy with my own children and grandchildren.

I am writing this letter early today, because our new stake cancelled all their meetings last night, due to the expected ice storm (which I don't think ever materialized).  It is cold and snowy out there, but I don't believe it's terribly icy.  However, the message said that our stake has a lot of the older population and many of them live on the hill, so it is probably a good thing that it was cancelled.  Roy said that the singles stake is meeting for Sacrament meeting only, so they must have been concerned about ice (and parking?) as well.

Roy was ready to have everyone over for Sunday dinner, but I told him I needed one more week of recuperation from the holidays.  You can expect an invitation next week unless any unforeseen difficulties arise :)

Baby blessing and a new baby!

We enjoyed some of the most wonderful blessings in life this week.  Monday night, Effie Mila Rasband was given a name and a blessing in our home with all her grandparents and most of her aunts, uncles and cousins in attendance.  She is a beautiful little girl with a very sweet disposition and we felt a wonderful spirit as her daddy blessed her.

Nick's family with friends Toby and Jenny Anderton

Christy Cunningham came over earlier that evening and took family pictures.  It's hard to get 11 children to pay attention and smile all at the same time.

Tuesday, Dan left me with his daughters when he took Jieun to the hospital.  Most of us didn't find out until the next morning that Benedict Dojin had joined our family at 11:45 pm (on the 27th).  He was 7 lbs. 3 oz. and 20 inches long.  He is a really handsome little baby. We were wondering what a boy in their family would look like.

We were also able to enjoy Elise, Andy, Max and Mav for a little longer (Elise got to hold Dojin before she went home).  Tuesday morning (while I taught my water aerobics class) the Jackson's went with Roy and Gunnar and Ollie and Ruby and Crista and Matt on the front runner up to the train museum in Ogden.  Apparently they had a great time.

Roy took Elise and her family to the airport Thursday morning, and though they were delayed an hour because of the fog, it was a lot better than the delays they endured on their way here.

We had Dan's girls from Tuesday around noon to Thursday around 2.  Jennie slept with all three of them on Tuesday night, though from the picture below, you can see Yuna kind of hogs the bed.

When I tucked Hyeji and Doyeon in the extra bed upstairs on Wednesday night, they looked at me and said, "Don't we get to sleep with anyone?"  I thought they'd be a whole lot more comfortable two to a bed than four.  I told them grandma and grandpa were close by if they needed anything.

After the girls went home on Thursday afternoon, I began to try to return my home to it's pre-Christmas condition.  Between that and beginning to pack for our eventual move, I'm pretty worn out.
While packing up the theater room, I got going through scrapbooks and other memorabilia.  Roy pulled out a zippered bag that was full of cards and letters from after Thomas' death.  I wasn't able to tell him to just throw them out without going through them first.  It has been an emotional journey.  It was interesting to see who took the time to write to us at that time.  There were cards from the elementary school the kids went to, as well as Elise's teacher.  Also the elementary school they had attended before a boundary change.  Our bank and other local businesses sent cards and many of our neighbors that we didn't even know. Many of our theater associates and patrons wrote to us and we had also received letters from total strangers offering words of comfort.  Many of our relatives wrote their condolences.  Some of the letters were sad--the writers had suffered their own losses and didn't have the gospel to help them through the pain and grief.  One of these was a cousin--she had lost twins at their birth.  She told me she took comfort in taking toys to their graves.   While I am glad it brought her comfort, I didn't feel it would be the best way for me to find peace.  However, I so appreciated that she and others would take the time to write to me.  Even our pediatrician took the time to write a note telling me that I was a good mother and that we can't prevent all accidents.  Another cousin wrote and suggested I try and listen to a talk from the April 1993 Sunday morning conference (we didn't go as it was the day after the accident).  It was a talk on prayer.  Rather I read it at the time, I don't remember, but I read it today.  Rex Pinegar , Peace through prayer.
I have thrown many of these cards away--especially the ones that just signed their name, but I saved a few to add to Thomas' scrapbook so my kids can read them someday and get an idea of how many people cared about us.  It's also a reminder to me to reach out to those who are suffering.  Those of you who know me well, know that I'm not terribly emotional.  I rarely cry.  After reading these letters and cards, I watched a movie with Roy called "Miracle from Heaven," and I cried all the way through it.  It was a Christian movie based on a true story, and there were so many things that the mother in the movie experienced that reminded me of my experience.  In one of the scenes, a non-believer is talking to his child.  She is telling him that her roommate has given her comfort by telling her that Jesus is always with her.  His response, "That's all right--if it gives her comfort."  I have always just bristled when I've received a similar response, because it's so condescending.  It's also not very comforting to have someone question your heartfelt beliefs.  The man later takes the mother aside and asks her to tell her daughter (also very ill), not to share that kind of nonsense with his daughter.
The mother in the story is having a hard time keeping her faith, and the preacher tells her that he's gone through hard times--sometimes turning his heart to God, and other times turning his back to Him.  He told her that he found from his experience that it was a lot better when he turned his heart to Him.
I am so grateful that I know my Savior lives.  I can never deny it because I have felt His comfort so strongly.  This Christmas I had lots of opportunity to think of my Savior, and His birth and life.  I don't always love Christmas because of the commercialism, but I really enjoyed it and felt the spirit of it this year.
And Happy Birthday to Christine and Glenn tomorrow and Ori on Tuesday.  We have a lot of January birthdays.  I thought Dojin would be another January birthday, but he decided to be the only December birthday in our family so far.